So I was talking – okay whining – at the end of my post yesterday about my desire to write some Top Ten Lists so I could be cool and rightly join the other 2M bloggers on the internet. Included was the suggestion that I had to wait until ‘everything works out’ or melanoma or ulcers or toe fungus or whatever was completely eradicated to accomplish such airy goals.
It occurred to me this morning that was pretty lame, fueled by an insipid dose of self-pity, and well, we will just have no more of that today. I realized too that, in the same breath, I had unknowingly provided a ‘tantalizing’ view at the end of yesterday’s post into the kinds of erudite indexes I might able to bestow upon the world.
Without further ado, the blogroll that all 28 of you who subscribed to www.98braintumors.com (potentially less after this) have been waiting on the edge of your keyboards for…
Top 8 Reasons Why Guys Who Pick their Noses Really are Smarter
- Because we are already married or have girlfriends
- Because it relieves the pressure on our huge brains
- Because we don’t just talk the rhinotillexomania talk, we walk the walk
- Because stop lights are way too long man
- Because we would rather pick our own than somebody else’s
- Because, let’s face it, you just look more intelligent when picking a winner
- Because their could be gold in dem there hills
- Because it tastes better than licking off sleeves, under sofas, bottom of elementary school desks or back of church pews
- Because boogers are a terrible thing to waste
- Because some guy said drinking your own urine was good for you, so we were like smart enough to figure out picking our noses and eating it might be too (along with a few other geniuses on the internet)
Okay that last one is more about snot consumption rather than extraction but I couldn’t resist.
Speaking of which, I openly admit to at least giving the thought of drinking my own urine some possibly intense consideration. Ah, cancer, what wicked webs you weave!
You will be happy to know, I hope, that I decided against it. Did not want to risk giving that viscid secretion in my nose, consisting of mucin, epithelial cells, leukocytes, and various inorganic salts, a bad taste. 0-;
Before things get any more third grade-ish (or worse), I’ll stop now and go to bed. And all the (28ish and falling) people said, “Yeah good idea moron.”
But first I need to take care of something…