Gutteral

Well, I’m truly at my whit’s end with these abdominal issues.  I’m not a big fan of whining and complaining publicly, but wanted to let my friends and family know what was going on, in case I’m silent here for awhile. If I am silent for awhile it will be because I have either checked into the loony bin or gone on a sit-in at the hospital entrance with a sign on my chest.  Will consider the old school clyon costume if it will help.sign
Basically, the abdominal pain continues to beat the ever living crap out of me.  It doesn’t really seem to matter what I eat or when, but if I do then I might as well have boa constricted a hot iron. There is no current explanation for this despite a litany of endoscopes, a colonoscopy, ct/pet scans, blood tests, ultrasounds, x-ray procedures, tummy tucks, extreme makeovers, calf implants and Botox overdoses (are you really supposed to inject into your butt I am so confused!)…pain still parked here even with synthetically shins, shrunken waist line and expanding gluts.

Solution of late is fasting.  I did a water fast for 36 hours starting last Thursday and have subsequently been juicing since…would seriously consider murderizing somebody for a few pain-free Frito’s Scoops out of the pantry. But that’s not happening. The cost of eating has become too steep to pay.  The fasting has helped some, there have been fewer really rough episodes, yet they remain.  

From what little I know, fasting is often recommended for people with pancreatitis as a way to rest the pancreas and gallbladder.  Fasting in this sense is more like “slowing” because it gives the organs a chance to rest.  Thing is, as with the other tests run, my blood work is not immediately “presenting” as pancreatitis.  Lipase and amylase are on the low end of normal.  Pancreatitis typically causes those to be above the end high end of normal.  Gallstones, which I may also have, might be exacerbated by fasting because the bile in liver and gallbladder might get thicker as a result. So the long and short of it is, I don’t have a damn clue what I’m doing.  Have a saying in a program I’ve been attending for a long time that we should never get too “Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (HALT).”  I’m batting 750.

And I’m frustrated, okay ANGRY, with medical care.  Waiting 2 hours in the doctor’s office for 5-10 minutes of somebody to refer me to another specialist is finger licken redonkeylous. I could also contact other alternative medical professions and, while they will likely give an hour or two of consultation, insurance is not paying that bill.  Sometimes it seems like you have to wind up screaming in agony in the ER before the proper attention is paid. Grrr. Argh. Growl.

The plan at the moment is to continue juicing and then, potentially, do a liver and gallbladder flush.  There’s a lot of mixed debates on the internet as to whether or not this is true quackery or truly useful.  Seems like I’m always crashing against this sort of parliamentary debate. Whatever, if nothing gets better by doing the above Sarah and I discussed checking me into the hospital at the end of the week.  

I know its time to ask myself what I can be doing differently. I’m not talking physically.  Though that’s definitely been the obsession.  Its hard not to think about anything but physical.  But what am I doing with my mental, emotional and spiritual state? From my experience seems like nothing changes physically unless I’m willing to look at those things.  Weird, paradoxical and, frankly beyond annoying as hell, but at least considering…  Grr. Argh. Growl.  

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