98 Brain Tumors Later…

Here’s the cliff notes of what I want to say with this post to my friends with cancer, melanoma, brain tumors, myself (which is close to the number of people reading this blog), et al of you tonight, right now:

Don’t give up.

  • Even after cancer spreads through lymph nodes to liver, lungs and stomach in a few short months after diagnosis
  • Even when you get told you have 43 brain tumors and likely 6 weeks to 6 months to live
  • Even after you get unceremoniously kicked out of the clinical trial you’ve been doing, once a week, 1000 miles away, for the last six months
  • Even after 9 months of stereo-tactic surgery and immune therapy side effects gone wild
  • Even after you discover you actually had 98 brain tumors all along (not 43 tumors, this is an extreme version of a cranial “clerical error” 0-;) and “get to do” six more months of cranium drilling, tube riding radiation – yeehaw
  • Even after you to do brain surgery to remove one particularly nasty necrotic mother-bugger

Why? Because there is still a chance. There is man. Even if you are not feeling or believing that. There is a chance today. So don’t give up!

I know-I know-believe me I know- this is easier said than done. When you are in the middle of The Shat, it’s just not that easy.  In fact I drove myself all up in and around crazy town, getting confused by all the crazy town street signs, all the crazy town people and crazy words and crazy arse music, worrying about the 1098 crazy things I couldn’t control. Eventually I had to give it up. Somehow or another the lesson of worrying or getting fearful and pissed wasn’t going to make anything better.

So maybe the message is: Give up don’t give up? I guess that’s right.  Doesn’t really make a lot of sense at face value but whatever. But if we can live with other vaguely inept statements in the English language like “exact estimate”, “pretty ugly”, “only choice”, “seriously funny” or “clearly misunderstood” we should be able to accommodate “give up don’t give up” (however clunky the statement sounds).

There’s always the serenity prayer which does a pretty good job of summarizing the sentiment involved:

Lord, Grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
Courage, to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to hide the bodies of those people
I had to kill because they pissed me off.

What a tic, that’s not it, please don’t mention that faux pas to my parole officer, case worker, psychiatrist, parents, psychologist, psychic, sponsor, friends, priest, minister, wife, kids, employer, cats, dog (especially the dog, she thinks so highly of me), here we go, sorry:

Lord, Grant me the Serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
Courage, to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.

And in the words of some immortal friends from another bunch of beloved crazy-pantsed people I know…’C’monnnnn Wisdom!’

PS. Am back to work after the holidays which gave me occasion – while waiting for code to compile or listening (attentively of-course) in meetings – to catch up on what’s happening in the world of melanoma research. Anyways this fairly recent summation of previous published research made me think of the above. I was reminded today of how low down I felt looking at the numbers, stats and treatment options three years ago. There was no encouraging kinds of research like this available. But, the interventions discussed in this article are in fact what I ended up pursuing:

Brain metastases, melanoma, stereotactic radiation, and nivolumab

If I can help, encourage or assist you my friends please let me know and peas be with you always.

Image result for peas be with you

Image result for peas be with you

 

 

And not huge a fan of profanity in print but, while on the subject of peas, this is funny, don’t care who you are:

Image result for peas be with you

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

Post Navigation