13 years ago we moved to Monument Colorado with a plan. The new place was great but we ultimately longed for trees and room for the boy (eventually boys) to make some noise. We figured it would take 5 years to get there.
Fast forward and life, mainly cancer, interrupted. Our plan yawned and stretched out. Stuck in the metaphorical woods, it often felt more like up we were up the creek.
——-let me stop the train a second by saying that in a sometime troubled world, I think a new house sits squarely in the realm of “high class problems.” Kinda like watching “House Hunters” with somebody wailing over the wrong color of counter tops in their otherwise perfect, dream home. Oh the horror! The horror! Somebody 9-1-1 a whaambulence. In the grand scheme of things to get upset about a bedroom being too small I mean really…take a walk down the the cancer ward.
Makes me think about this study I read one time comparing hunter gatherers and modern man’s stress levels. Turns out that the dudes and dudesses running from hungry lions had lower overall stress than all of us plagued by our “civilizationisms.” Maybe the outside world is not the problem and never was.
In one of these meetings I have gone to for a long time, I had long been secretly skeptical about men and women who claimed God had blessed them more than they could have imagined. Irrespective of the cancer situation, I kind of let the idea of having that experience go. Not that I wasn’t grateful. Its merely that I all too often suffered a case of the glass-half-empties. Things always seemed like they could be a little better, even by the very slightest degrees.
I think the turning point happened @ nine months ago. I was doing a bit of HCP (high class problem) self talk about why we had not moved yet. A moment of honesty ensued. I realized that I was thinking I somehow deserved to move. That something inherently in me deserved it. Then I realized what total bullshit that was, even though I had idea for a long time (just because ideas have been around awhile does not make them right; in fact its probably more of a case for them being wrong).
The truth is/was I am lucky to have the boys, Sarah, my job, a billion other things and in light my recent experiences, the next breath. I didn’t do anything. It was not earned or deserved.
Things fell into place shortly thereafter. Its been a cool experience and I am glad to be sharing the experience here.
Thanks for all for you love and support.