Walked out of the hospital @ 4:30pm yesterday.
Getting home was a surreal, wonderful experience.
Sitting on the front porch with a spot of tea, feeling the fresh clean air and hot sun, getting back to hanging with my two favorite critters and their Mom- totally righteous Dude!
That being said, the transition back to normal life has been a challenge after 10 days on the “inside.” Seems when you take the cancer patient out of the hospital, you are still left with the cancer patient. And my stay at U of C seems to have left an impression.
The IL-2 was not only the climatic last stage of treatment but proved the toughest, as advertised. I had 6 spikes of fever (4 over 106), hot then cold then hot again, sweaty mess, nausea, headaches, rigors (uncontrolled full body shaking lasting 30-45 minutes), forced bed rest due to blood pressure crashes which meant if I wanted to “use the facilities”I had to whiz in a urinal in bed (which is awesome when you are shaky and they are continuously pumping you with fluids; and quite fun when a crowd of people come a-traipsing through the door- which they do frequently), and I didn’t sleep for 48 hours except for heavy drug induced stupor. Grog!
Here I am flanked by ice packs with my go-to cheesy grin.
Getting out of the hospital, I had this vision of returning home and pouring myself into bed and zonking for 12.
Yeah, not so much.
Walking up a flight of stairs or the half mile loop at the end of the block leaves me huffing and puffing, my body is marked up from all the needles and tape ripped off (I hate tape it should all burn in hell), I have entertained several uninvited high fevers, am very flushed and bloated especially around my peeling eyes and red face, and my sleep is stuck on hospital time with lots of interrupted fits and turns punctuated by general thrashing. The latest joy is a full body rash. I am itchy as hell and was up all night, calling the on-call oncologist team multiple times in the wee hours of the morning as I scratched my skin raw like a poor flea infested dog. I did discover an ice cold shower stopped the itching for 1-2 hours. But, seriously, who in the hay wants to take a frickin cold ass shower at 4 in the fricking morning? Um, “me” I guess.
Finally, we are expecting my hair to drop any day.
I am sharpening my purple eyebrow pencil and looking for a Pedro wig.
I also downloaded an app to sample a few synthetic hair styles.
Not sure what this look is.
This one I am referring to as the Curt Cobain.
This is my current front runner.
In meantime, we are hanging out, waiting for a miracle, working through the side effects.
The TIL study has the full power to deliver one and does for 25% of the people that endure that madness; while around @ 25% achieve some benefit.
I am hoping the plan is to be in the miraculous category.
“Stand up tall, pretend you are strong, in the hopes that you will be.”