Hopefully not complaining here but this has not been an easy last few months. I am not going to talk about the doctors visits and procedures themselves (but if you want more info just holler and I will share my experience with you). That was grueling but not the hard part. By far the most difficult aspect of this experience remains the battle between my ears.
I would love to tell you about waltzing through Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy (SBRT) and a million doctors visits while skipping my way to happy destiny, girded by faith and quite certain of my future, confident that all was going to be A-okay. I certainly tried to tell myself those things on a daily basis. But there have been plenty of other internal conversations miles from cheerful.
Wait, did you feel that Leland? Is it even working? Oh its not working see? I told you. See you’re tired? See you have a headache. See you feel sick. Wait, I know what’s going on here. You are so screwed its not even funny dude. That’s not the radiation bugging you, that’s called progression man, PROGRESSION, you’re screwed, game over man, game over!
Moments before getting the news about the CT results this last Monday, I was bracing myself for whatever came next…though if you had asked me to be honest (I know tall order) about probable outcomes, I likely would have gone the Bill Paxton route and told you I thought I was completely hosed.
So, all that being said, I am pleased to report that my recent adventures with sbrt appear to have been effective. CT scans showed that the tumor in question (located in hepatic lymph node next to liver) has shrunk and decreased in density. In turn, CT and MRI scans show no progression of disease in other parts of body or addled brain.
Needless to say they are clocking winds in the 100 mile an hour range tonight in Colorado and some may very well be sighs of relief.
And all of this proves of course that I am not only a little bit nuts in the head but also very blessed.
Thank you all for your support, continued prayers and well wishes.
PS. One of my new years resolutions is to start hitting this blog again. There I said it, so I will see you likely in another 3 months 0-;. No, seriously or not so seriously (we won’t know until we see if I actually make good on this promise), this particular chapter of the battle knocked me down a bit and I haven’t really wanted to spend more time thinking about melanoma or brain tumors. Regardless, hope to be back next week. Peace.